Many couples like to seek the advice of a counselor before walking down the aisle. This decision can have a positive impact in creating a lasting marriage. Studies conclude that professional counselors can help couples work through differing family dynamics while creating a foundation in matters of finances, children, and household roles. Here are some valuable reasons to seek counseling before you say, “I do.”
Family Roles and Responsibilities
Every family dynamic is different. We all grew up watching our parents assume individual roles. Without realizing it, we naturally expect these roles to be the same in our marriage. The problem is, these responsibilities may have looked different for each of your families. So, understand that what you may feel is a natural role for your future husband to mimic can create controversy if he is not on the same page. The way you grew up inevitably affects the decisions you make, the everyday jobs you assume, and how you choose to resolve family difficulties. Allowing a counselor to help guide you through reasonable and unreasonable expectations will create a healthy and happy partnership.
One of the biggest struggles that can drive a happily married couple towards separation are finances. Perhaps one of you is a spender and one is a saver. Maybe one of you believes a joint account is better while the other wants to keep the money divided. Before marriage, you were in control of your financial decisions and suddenly your spouse has a differing opinion. Through pre-marital counseling, it is common for couples to seek financial guidance. A professional can help you create a budget or help you find common ground.
If you and your husband-to-be have not yet had the important discussion about children, it is now the time! Surprisingly, some couples have been so swept up in romance they neglect this important conversation. It goes beyond the “if” of children, but how many? Does one of you want to stay home when your family expands, or do you both want to continue pursuing your careers? Even though your decisions may change, it certainly does not hurt to go ahead and express your feelings in the matter of family growth. Let a counselor walk you through how children can affect your relationship and how to protect your romance during the fun chaos children can bring!
Seeking a counselor can provide valuable insight into what to expect from marriage, how things can change, and how to make important compromises. It is worth the time and certainly cannot hurt! Not everything will be perfect forever, so take your part in lowering your chance of divorce and figure out how best to work through your difficulties early.